The Very British Lannisters
by CLHCLH
Summary: Modern British AU. Connected one shots and shorts following the adventures of Jaime and Tyrion.
1. Wildfire Night

**In Britain the 5th of November is celebrated as Bonfire Night or Guy Fawkes Night. This is a commemoration of Guy Fawkes' failure to blow up the British Houses of Parliament and the British Royal Family in the 17th century. We celebrate with fireworks displays and a large bonfire which we burn a 'Guy' on. Being very much Team Margaery I was less than impressed when she was reduced to ashes in Baelor's Sept so this one shot imagines a present day Westeros where things went a little differently that day.**

 **Jaime and Cersei aren't related here, they're a divorced couple. Myrcella and Tommen are their children. I've mentioned Joffrey, briefly, in this AU he's not related to anyone else mentioned.**

* * *

Jaime dug his hands into the pockets of his jacket, feeling for his keys. It was much colder than when he left the house several hours before and as usual he had only been able to get a parking space several streets away. Finally, he grasped the familiar shape of the lion key ring his children had presented him with on father's day, and pushed the key quickly into the main door. He walked quickly toward the door of his flat and opened it, noticing the hall light was on.

"It's bloody freezing out there!"

Jaime remarked as he opened the door to the living room, expecting to find his younger brother. Tyrion was indeed in the room and was glaring at Jaime as he hurriedly pulled up his boxers and trousers. Also in the room was Tyrion's girlfriend Margaery, who had jumped from her kneeling position and was also seeking to fixed her dishevelled clothes.

"Should I explain to you the meaning of a closed door? _Again?"_

Jaime, already irritated by the events of the afternoon was definitely not in the mood for Tyrion's sarcasm.

"This is my flat too!"

"No, brother, it is my flat, I am simply kind enough to allow you a room."

Tyrion spoke in a tone of exasperated patience. Margaery dropped a kiss on his head then grinned at Jaime.

"Boys, boys! Let's not argue on such an auspicious day. Jaime, I'm sorry your feeling cold, luckily for you, I've made curry for dinner so that'll warm your cockles. I'll just go an check how it's doing." Tyrion kept his eyes on her as she retreated from the room then turned to meet Jaime's unamused stare.

"What?"

"What do you think?"

This was not the first time Jaime had interrupted Tyrion and Marge in such a situation and he felt the two of them could at least _pretend_ to be embarrassed. Tyrion smiled crookedly.

"Look, she's going to come to her senses and leave me soon enough, I may as well enjoy myself while I can. Anyway, how was the disco? Did you have fun?"

"Of course, you know how I love weak orange squash and the music of Arianna Grande."

Tyrion smirked. Jaime had been supervising a halloween disco at his children's primary school, Cersei should have been doing it but she had 'other commitments', _I can guess what those were now._ Jaime turned to his brother with a scowl.

"Some little shit upset Myrcella. Weirdo in this back feathery costume, telling her he could see everything she did, that she looked beautiful when she slept."

"I hope you broke the little wanker's legs."

Tyrion's shared indignation mollified Jaime slightly, he smiled grimly.

"I gave him a piece of my mind, told his mother she ought to be ashamed. She had no control over him, just kept apologising to me, she must've been a teenager when she had him by the look of her."

Just then Margaery came through the door carrying several steaming plates.

"Don't you two look serious! What's wrong, did Tommen not like his Golden Knight costume?"

Jaime sighed.

"He didn't wear it, he decided to wear the pirate costume Uncle Euron got him instead."

"Who the fuck is Uncle Euron?" Asked Tyrion, as Margaery placed the food on the coffee table.

"Cersei's new man." supplied Jaime morosely. Margaery raised her eyebrows.

"She's got the children calling her boy toy 'uncle'? That's in poor taste."

"It sounds like they've been going out for months, I can't believe her, we agreed we'd speak to each other before we introduced Tom and Cella to anyone new."

Tyrion and Margaery exchanged a glance. Considering the break down of Jaime and Cerise's marriage had been solely due to her multiple infidelities and considering she was a manipulative bitch anyway, this latest deception hardly seems surprising. Jaime gritted his teeth.

"Still, I heard all about him from the kids, they absolutely love him, he's the best thing since sliced bread."

He stopped there, resentment overtaking him. Margaery squeezed his shoulder.

"Don't worry Jaime, the novelty will wear off, in the meantime, I'm happy to spend more time with you all on the weekends they are here. I'm very good at winning the hearts of children, they'll be begging to come and stay."

She went to kitchen to retrieve her own plate. Jaime turned to his brother.

"Doesn't it make you a bit uneasy when she goes all scheming and manipulative like that?"

Tyrion sighed and grinned.

"No, it makes me want to fuck her."

Margaery returned and plonked down on the sofa beside Tyrion, kissing him briefly before starting to eat. Her boyfriend took a forkful of food and smiled.

"This is delicious darling! It is Pentoshi?"

"Indeed it is. I decided to avoid anything Lorathi. Seeing as your ex was from there I have no doubt my efforts would look hopelessly inauthentic."

Jaime snorted.

"I don't think things between Tyrion and Shae ever got to the stage where she cooked for him."

"Really?"

Jaime observed the triumphant expression on Marge's face and had to bite back a smile. Still looking smug, the woman spoke again.

"You're both wonderful for letting me have a little wildfire party here tonight. Wildfire Night is my absolute favourite and since my flat doesn't have a garden I've not been able to have a bonfire in so long."

Tyrion gave her a fond look.

"It's no trouble, darling, I love wildfire night myself."

Jaime rolled his eyes. As an adolescent, Tyrion had taken an interest in fireworks. One year he and his shady mate Bronn had decided to hold their own Wildfire party in a small wood behind the street the Lannisters lived on. Having bought the fireworks from a disreputable source and having consumed considerable quantities of cider prior to setting them of, it was really not surprising when rather than shooting into the air, the rockets had shot into a neighbours' garden. Unfortunately for Tyrion, the neighbour in question was General Baratheon and the rockets destroyed his scale model replicas of Admiral Lord Nelson's fleet. Tyrion and Jaime's father had insisted his younger son spend his weekends producing household budgets until he deemed him to have earned the money it took to pay for the damages. This had somewhat dampened the younger Lannister's enthusiasm for pyrotechnics and even before this he and Jaime had always agreed the story behind Wildfire Night seemed like bullshit.

The event harked back to the days before the defeat of the White Walkers. The story went that brave Ser Lancel had risked his own life to stop a cache of wildfire under Baelor's Sept from igniting. Good Queen Margaery and her family had been in the sept at the time and it had quickly emerged the whole thing was a plot between the Mad Queen and the High Sparrow (so fanatical that he was willing to end his own life to bring about his aims) to destroy the Tyrells and take power. The Mad Queen had even been planning to poison her own son and ascend the throne following the explosion. Thankfully brave Lancel succeeded and the Mad Queen was beheaded. As for Good Queen Margaery, she convinced her husband they should support the North in the war to come and even managed to persuade Daenerys Targaryen to lend her dragons to battle for the dawn, rather than spend time conquering King's Landing. Many of the great and good fell before the Night King was finally vanquished, but Good Queen Margaery remained, ruling the Seven Kingdoms in the name of her young son, lately assisted by the Dragon Queen's former hand. Both Jaime and Tyrion were sceptical by nature and agreed that surely the Mad Queen couldn't really have been as bad as everyone made out, and if Good Queen Margaery was really so good why were people conspiring to blow her up? However, Tyrion's girlfriend adored the story of her namesake and supposed ancestor and it had not taken very much eye lash batting and breathless promises for the little man to realise holding a wildfire party complete with Mad Queen effigy was an excellent idea.

Soon after dinner, Loras and Renly arrived, carrying said effigy. They had clearly put much effort into the creation and their glee in anticipation of the burning was matched by Margaery, who had squealed with delight. Bronn had also arrived along with Podrick, a young man whom Tyrion told Jaime had a prodigious talent but who as far as Jaime could see, Tyrion kept in the role of general dogsbody. Tonight appeared to affirm this as Jaime could see that Pod was currently, assembling assorted pieces of wood into a bonfire whilst Tyrion and Bronn offered helpful advice but no actual assistance. Jaime had followed the three into the garden and stood with his hands in his pockets brooding on his afternoon.

"What the fuck's up with yer brother, Tyrion? He looks as if he fought a bear and lost."

"He had to take his children to a school disco this afternoon."

Bronn tutted sympathetically.

"Here, Jaime, you should've given me the word, I'd have stood in for ye. For a small fee of course, I could've told them all sorts of lies about your bitch of an ex while I was at it."

Jaime smirked at the thought of Bronn mingling with the PTA mothers.

"Bronn, you ever heard of a bloke called Euron?"

Bronn snorted.

"Only bloke I know called that is Euron Greyjoy, mad bastard that one, owns a boozer called The Cackling Craken over the other side of town."

"Owns a boozer? they're a match made in heaven" Tyrion muttered to himself.

Margaery stuck her head out the door.

"Are you almost ready to start?"

"We certainly are, darling, bring the Mad Queen to her pyre." Tyrion called out cheerfully.

Renly and Loras emerged and placed the blonde mannequin on top of the pile of wood. Soon it was burning merrily. Margaery watched a wide smile on her face and when the blonde wig caught alight she cheered mockingly.

"Burn, you evil bitch!" She turned to Tyrion standing beside her.

"Thank you for this, I love you."

From the brief glimpse Jaime had of his brother's face before Margaery pulled him into a passionate kiss, Jaime guessed this was the first time Tyrion had heard his girlfriend declare her love. Jaime liked Margaery and he was happy for his brother but given the current state of his own love life, he felt a little melancholy.

"I'm heading in for a drink." He called to no one in particular and made his way inside the flat. He was in the kitchen when he heard the buzzer sounding, he lifted the handset beside the front door.

"Yeah"

"Is this Tyrion's flat? I'm here for the wildfire party."

"Come in"

He pressed the door release and waited for the unknown female to make her way to the flat door. He opened it, and his 'hello' was shocked from his lips.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, I had to take my brother to his school dis…"

As the tall redhead at the door managed to remove a bottle of wine from its plastic bag and looked up at him she fell silent and the pleasant smile on her face died. She began to blush.

"Oh, hello… again."

They stared at each other for a minute then Jaime remembered himself.

"Come in please, let me take that."

She handed him the wine then began to speak earnestly.

"I am so sorry for my brother's behaviour earlier."

"Your brother?"

"Yes, mum's on the PTA but she didn't feel up to the disco, things have been hard the past few months."

She looked down and swallowed. Jaime remembered how angrily he'd reacted and regretted it now. He spoke quickly.

"I think I may have overreacted, we all know what kids are like."

This did not seem to cheer the red head up. She sighed.

"Bran used to be such a cheerful, chatty little boy, but since dad died, he's been so…strange, I wish I could do more for him. I told him his behaviour towards Myrcella wasn't acceptable, he is a good kid really."

Jaime looked at her worried face and felt like a complete prick. He smiled.

"Let's say no more about it, I'm sure my daughter has forgotten all it, I'm sorry I responded so rashly."

"You have nothing to apologise for, it's lovely to see a father looking out for his children."

At this she seemed to tear up and despite never having met her before, Jaime found himself pulling her into a hug.

"Oh I'm so sorry, I just miss my dad so much." She took a deep breath and gave him a watery smile. Which he readily returned.

"I think you could do with a drink before we head outside, now shall we introduce ourselves properly? I'm Jaime, Tyrion's brother."

"I'm Sansa, Margaery and I went to school together." She looked around the flat enquiringly.

"Is your daughter here now?"

"No, she's at her mother's, We've been separated for over a year. It was hard for the kids to get used to at first, but they seem fine now, which is why I'm sure your brother will adjust too, he just needs time."

She gave him a small smile then sighed.

"I hope so, he's just changed so much, he used to love knights but he wouldn't even wear the Golden Knight costume I made him for halloween, reading those stories together used to be our favourite thing to do."

Jaime grinned.

"My son loves the Golden Knight stories too. In fact, I bought him a Golden Knight costume for halloween."

"Oh, I didn't see any of the children wearing one."

"No, he decided to be a pirate instead."

They smiled at each other in mutual sympathy and he handed her a glass of wine before holding it up in a toast.

"Here's to being stoic in the face of rejection by small boys."

They remained at the kitchen table talking for a while longer. Sansa had recently moved back to the city, wanting to be closer to her family following her father's death. They commiserated on how stressful moving was, he talked to her about Tommen and Myrcella, who he loved, and his job, which he hated. Jaime felt as if he had been rudely awakened from a dream when Margaery appeared at the kitchen door.

"There you are Jaime! I see you've met Sansa."

"Marge! Sorry I was so late."

"It's fine, I got your text."

Margaery moved to hug her friend then turned to Jaime with a grin.

"This girl is like a sister to me, we used to share _everything_ back at school, secrets, boyfriends…"

Sansa grimaced

"Let's leave Joffrey firmly in past Marge."

"More than happy to, love, anyway, I came to find you because we're about to set the fireworks off."

Jaime stood up somewhat reluctantly and followed the pair outside.

Soon the sky was lit up by reds, greens and golds. Jaime had never shared Tyrion's enthusiasm for pyrotechnics and he found his eye drawn more frequently to Sansa, the still alight bonfire casting a warm glow on her copper hair and making her skin seem to glow. He had not been aware he was staring until she had turned to face him, an uncertain smile on her lips.

"Are you alright?"

"Beautiful, I mean I'm beautiful no, of course I don't mean that. The fireworks, they are beautiful."

 _Seven hells get a grip Lannister!_

Sansa gave a small laugh.

"Yes they are, I have to be honest though.." and she leaned closer to him, the scent of her perfume making him catch his breath.

"I prefer looking at the stars."

"So do I."

The beaming smile that lit up her face made his heart beat faster and even though he hadn't kissed a woman since his marriage fell apart and even though he'd been in love with Cersei since he was fifteen years old it felt like the most natural thing in the world to fix Sansa with a mock serious look and say:

"I really do feel terrible for flying off the handle earlier, I wonder if you would let me take you to dinner next week to make up for it."

She dropped her gaze shyly but her smile widened.

"I would like that very much, not that you have anything to make up for."

The earnest expression on her face as she said the last part practically begged him to tease her, he gave her a smirk.

"If you're a very good girl we can take a walk together afterwards and look at the stars."

"And what if I'm a very bad girl?"

Sansa blushed as she said it but at Jaime's laugh she looked into his eyes with a mischievous expression. He raised a brow.

"I'm honestly not sure which I would prefer, perhaps I should take you out more than once, purely for the sake of comparison."

Jaime wondered if it was too presumptuous to be suggesting a second date when they'd only just met but Sansa simply continued to beam at him for a moment then turned her head back to the fireworks, glancing across at him frequently.

Once all the fireworks had been let off and the Mad Queen reduced to a charred mess of rags, the group returned to flat and soon people began to leave. Sansa did not seem particularly eager to go, readily agreeing to Margaery's suggestion that they open another bottle of wine. It was nearly midnight when the red head asked them to call her a taxi and as it arrived Jaime walked her to the door. She leaned into him and giggled.

"Oh dear, I'm a bit tipsy."

"Then allow to assist you, sweet lady."

"Why thank you, kind ser."

She opened the door then turned to face him, biting her lip.

"So give me a text next week and I shall see you Saturday."

"Indeed you will."

Their gazes locked and her smile was so bright and open and lovely. He brushed a strand of her long, shining hair away from her face and leant down to kiss her soft lips. He could feel her smile as she gently opened her mouth and stroked his tongue with hers. After a moment she pulled away and, grinning at him over her shoulder, walked down the hall and out the main door.

Jaime was sure he must have resembled a cheshire cat as he turned away from the flat door and found himself facing Margaery, her arms folded and her eyebrows raised.

"If you hurt her, Lannister, I will see to it that you die horribly and the blame falls on Tyrion."

Jaime's father, brother and ex-wife agreed on very little but one thing the three did have in common was a belief that attack was the best defence. Jaime drew on this principle now.

"You'd never do that to Tyrion, you _love_ him."

Margaery's face broke into a soft, dreamy smile and she moved towards Jaime, taking his arm.

"I do, I love him, he loves me just think how intelligent our babies will be."

"Babies? You've got quite the plans for my brother I see." Jaime felt obliged to tease Marge, despite the fact he could have hugged her for this confirmation of how serious she was about his little brother. The brunette turned to him with an exaggerated frown and placed a finger to her lips.

"Don't you tell him! I don't want him freaking out."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, we Lannisters don't scare easily. Besides, between you and me, Tyrion told me the first time he met you that he'd found the queen he'd been searching for his whole life."

They sauntered back into the living room where Tyrion looked at them brows raised.

"You two look very pleased with yourselves, did you find a clutch of dragon eggs in the hall?"

"Only you would be pleased to find a clutch of dragon eggs, you ridiculous sweetheart." Said Margaery sitting down beside him and pulling him into a kiss. Jaime gave an exaggerated sigh.

"Alright you two, that's clearly my cue to head to bed. See you in the morning."

As Jaime made his way to his bedroom he heard, Tyrion call out in sing-song voice:

"Jaime! I was right about it being an excellent idea to hold a wildfire party wasn't I?"

Jaime grinned at his younger brother's smug expression.

"Yes, Tyrion. You were right, I've always said you're the most intelligent Lannister."

With that, Jaime did head for his bedroom reflecting that despite predatory pirates and creepy ravens it had really been rather an excellent day.


	2. Big Night In

Margaery Tyrell bounced onto the landing, catching her breath and cursing inwardly when she realised she had another flight of stairs to go. em _Why in seven hells does Sansa have to live in an attic flat?_ At least it was exercise although she would have preferred a Bikram Yoga class. Margaery had been leaving her own flat when she had received a text from her red headed friend entreating her to come over right now. Sansa was not given to making demands and Margaery was concerned about what could have prompted her to be so urgent. Finally reaching her friend's front door, Marge knocked and entered.

"Thank the Gods you're here!"

"Sansa, what's wrong?"

"I'm a stupid, disorganised girl, that's what's wrong."

Margaery glanced round her friend's small flat. It was as pristine as ever. She could not for the life of her see what was causing the redhead to pace around her coffee table with an agitated frown on her face.

"What's the problem, love?"

"Jaime's coming for dinner tonight. I have to shop, then cook the food. I have to tidy up the flat and I have five orders from my Etsy page that I need to post out today! I don't have time! It's going to be a disaster!"

Sansa threw herself down on the sofa and placed her head in her hands. Margaery smiled to herself as she placed a sympathetic hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Sansa, sweetheart, calm down! It's not even lunchtime, you have plenty of time to shop and cook. Or better yet, write me a list and I'll pick up what you need in the car, I can post your parcels at the same time."

"Oh would you? Thanks so much, Marge!"

"It would be my pleasure, anything to help you two lovebirds. I take it things are still going swimmingly then?"

Sansa nodded, a soppy grin spreading across her face. Margaery couldn't remember her friend ever being as happy as she had been in the two months since she and Jaime Lannister had started seeing each other. Knowing better than anyone the shit Sansa had been through in the Vale, Margaery was delighted at this turn of events. Margaery's own relationship with Jaime's brother Tyrion had begun after Jaime's marriage fell apart, so she knew the older Lannister well enough to be confident that he would do right by her friend. Sansa had moved to the small kitchenette and begun to open cupboards, writing a list on a piece of note paper taken from a pad on the fridge. She handed it to Margaery who scanned it with a smirk.

"Sansa, you've forgotten condoms…"

"Marge!"

"Don't 'Marge' me, missy! Why else would you be cooking him dinner at home? This house is immaculate, I can only imagine the 'cleaning' you're stressing about is changing your sheets."

Sansa looked flustered in the face of her friend's banter.

"No… I've asked him here because, when he takes me out to dinner he always chooses somewhere ridiculously fancy so even if he'd let me go halves with him it would bankrupt me."

"Oh he won't do the going halves thing either? Tyrion was dead against it the first time we went out too. Their dad's a bit old fashioned and he brought them up pretty traditionally."

"So what did you do about it with Tyrion?"

Margaery smirked.

"I told him he could pay for dinner but I'd be getting the taxi back to mine and breakfast in the morning."

"Of course you did."

Sansa grinned at her friend then spoke with her eyes on the floor.

"Actually, I am sort of thinking I'm ready to take that step, maybe."

The brunette grabbed her friend's hands and squeezed them.

"Really?! That's wonderful, I'm so pleased for you! Honestly, Jaime is lovely, I wouldn't have let you near him if he wasn't. This thing with the dinners, I know you've been through a hard time, love, but he's not some entitled prick or creepy predator. If it really bothers you then take turn about paying for stuff, that always feels more natural anyway."

Sansa nodded clearly struggling to keep the smile from her face. Margaery pulled her into a hug, then stepped away.

"Right, I shall get myself to the shops and post office. I'll swing by my flat too and pick up my green kimono for you."

"Your green kimono?"

"Absolutely. I fully anticipate you will be floating around here tomorrow morning in a euphoric post-coital haze. No offence but your grey fleecy dressing gown with the wolf ear hood may destroy the wanton sex kitten image somewhat."

Margaery ducked the cushion her friend threw her way and and rushed out the door chuckling merrily.

Tyrion Lannister threw his keys onto the kitchen worktop with a satisfied sigh. Normally he would not have been happy about having to go into work at the weekend; it was one of the downsides of being an associate director of the National Targaryen Museum of Dragons. However, he'd been needed today to oversee the preparations for a new exhibit of pre-doom fossils from Valyria. It had been quite a coup for the museum to secure the specimens for the next three months and as well as being pleased about the revenue they would generate from entrance fees, Tyrion had been fascinated to see the persevered skeletons for the first time.

He moved towards the coffee machine, noting with a smirk the large bouquet of blue roses and pale yellow cake box on the side. So his brother's courtship of Sansa Stark continued? _Can't wait to see what Queen Bitchface makes of all this._

Tyrion's private nickname for his ex-good sister was admittedly childish. This was because he had made it up when he was still a child. Jaime and Cersei had been friends from infanthood and she had always resented the close relationship between the brothers. In fact she had been openly hostile to anyone who she saw as threatening her hold over Jaime for as long as Tyrion could remember. In early adolescence his brother had developed a crush on his childhood friend which had appeared to be completely unreciprocated as Cersei had cheerfully gone out with various other boys in their peer group. However, when at fifteen Tyrion's brother had begun to develop a close, but obviously platonic, friendship with a girl called Brienne who he played rugby with, Cersei had suddenly discovered a passionate love for the boy she had only several months before told she saw 'as a brother'.

In Tyrion's mind the relationship had always been toxic and it had only been a matter of time until it had ended the way it did. Still his heart had ached for his older brother the night Jaime turned up on his doorstep, having discovered his wife's infidelities and been utterly broken by them. Now it seemed things were on the up for Jaime and the more Tyrion heard about Sansa, the more at ease he felt.

The kitchen door opened and he turned to see Jaime running a towel through his damp hair as he hummed a tune. He grinned at Tyrion.

"Good day at the office, bro'?"

"Yeah actually, got a really good look at the fossils from Valyria, bloody big bastards by the looks of the jaws."

"Thank the Gods they're long gone. Listen, do you think you could get me and kids tickets for next weekend? It's my weekend to have them and Tom's doing a project on dragons."

"That shouldn't be a problem."

As Tyrion was speaking, Jaime's phone began to vibrate on the kitchen table. He picked it up with a grimace which told Tyrion the caller was probably Cersei. Jaime held the phone to his ear.

"Everything alright?… Why?…Cers that's not on, it's not my weekend to have them…we agreed…no of course I don't want you to have to take them to Kevan and Dorna's…fine, fine, I'll be over to pick them up in a couple of hours."

Jaime hung up and sighed, a defeated expression on his face. Tyrion frowned at his brother.

"I thought you had plans with Sansa tonight?"

"Which I could hardly mention to Cersei."

"Why not? She's all loved up with Jack Sparrow, surely she wouldn't begrudge you a relationship of your own."

Jaime gave Tyrion a sour look. Things between him and Sansa were going brilliantly; unbelievably well. Jaime didn't want to bring Cersei into the equation just yet, not when it was all so new. A small part of him wondered if his ex had somehow got word of his new relationship and her sudden demand he look after the children tonight was her way of thwarting him, but he knew this was paranoia. He looked at his brother once more and was irked to find Tyrion gazing intently at his own phone.

"Tyrion, you could pretend to have some sympathy!"

"No time, brother, I have more pressing matters to attend to."

"Sometimes I wonder whose side you're on."Jaime grumbled. Tyrion grinned at him.

"Don't be a prick, Jaime, I am currently negotiating your release."

 _Text from Lovely Little Lion to Ravishing Rose: You won't believe this. Sweet Cersei has demanded J take T and M tonight. He's gonna cancel on Sansa._

 _Text from Ravishing Rose to Lovely Little Lion: He better bloody not! She has spent the whole day cooking! He will REALLY regret it if he blows her out._

 _Text from Lovely Little Lion to Ravishing Rose: Really? Ok I'll let him stew for a minute then tell him I can babysit the kids._

 _Text from Ravishing Rose: You hero xxxx/em_

Tommen and Myrcella were delighted at the prospect of spending an evening with their Uncle and did not seem perturbed by Jaime's explanation that his friend Addam had broken his leg and required Jaime to drive him home from hospital and help him on his first night home. Jaime was just preparing to leave when the door to the flat opened to reveal Margaery. She grinned at her boyfriend.

"Don't look so surprised, love, you gave me the key."

"I just didn't expect to see you tonight" replied Tyrion as he moved to kiss her.

"You really thought I'd miss out on a big night in with the Lannisters?"

With the appearance of Margaery, Jaime's children went from being unperturbed at his departure to a state of excited glee. In other circumstances, he would have felt put out, but heading out the front door and towards his car, Jaime found excited glee pretty much summed up his own feelings.

Jaime had dropped Sansa off several times after they'd been out but he hadn't actually been in her flat before. When he had made his way up the many flights of stairs, unable to help feeling smug at not being even slightly out of breath, he was amused to note the silver, wolf head door knocker. He knocked and waited, soon hearing her voice approach the door. She sounded agitated and when she answered it was with an apologetic smile and a phone wedged into the the crook of her neck. He stepped into the small hall and listened to her try to wind up the conversation.

"She's not likely to listen to me!… I can try but you know how stubborn Arya is… of course I'd miss her too, look maybe you get Jon to talk to… ok, ok sorry for mentioning it! Look, mum, I'll call her tomorrow but I have to go now, Marge is here for dvd night. Love you bye."

She hung up the phone and turned to him, placing her hands on his shoulders and briefly kissing his lips. Jaime pulled her to him, stroking her cheeks and grinning cheekily.

"'Marge is here?' So now we know Sansa Stark is a terrible liar, why am I not surprised?"

Sansa blushed.

"I hope you're not offended, my family can be a bit over protective, I don't really feel ready to tell them I'm seeing someone yet."

"I completely understand. My dad's interference in my life was basically the reason I ended up leaving Lannisport as soon as I finished school and never coming back."

Strictly speaking, the move to King's Landing had been Cersei's idea. Jaime's father, had always hoped his son would follow him into merchant banking however Tywin had never approved of Jaime and Cersei's relationship and had made no effort to hide the disapproval. Jaime also now suspected Cersei had wished to loosen his ties to his high school friends and his brother, however he certainly did not want to talk about his ex-wife to Sansa. Particularly not when she was standing there looking breathtaking. He handed her the flowers and cakes he had brought as a gift and felt something inside him flip over as her face lit up.

"Winter roses! They're my favourite! Thank you, why don't you sit down? I'll get you a drink."

Jaime sat on the sofa as Sansa busied herself in the small kitchenette, placing the flowers in a delicate silver vase.

"So what possessed you to rent a flat six flights up? Enjoy the idea of being a princess in a tower do you?"

She made a face at him over her shoulder.

"Nothing so romantic. It was the only way to get a two bed on my tiny budget. I needed a spare room for the sewing machine and one with velux windows gives me good light."

Sansa had felt shy when she first told Jaime about her small online clothing business. In fact, if it weren't that being a graduate with a part time job in Topshop didn't seem fairly tragic she might not have mentioned it at all. Back when she was at fashion school in the Vale, she'd had grand plans of launching a boutique in trendy White Harbour. But she'd learnt the hard way that Professor Baelish's financial backing came with strings… So for now em' _Florian and Jonquil_ '/em was restricted to a few online orders. But at least it was all her own work. She poured two glasses of white wine and walked to the sofa.

"I'll give you a tour if you like?"

"I'd rather you gave me a kiss."

She grinned at his sparkling emerald eyes, feeling the butterflies rise in her stomach, as they so often did in his presence, and leant towards him for a deep kiss.

"Right you three, I'm fairly sure I have nothing in which could constitute a dinner. So what kind of take away will it be?"

"Chippy tea please, uncle!"

"Yeah can we get fish and chips please?"

Tyrion grimaced at his niece and nephew, Margaery raised her eyebrows.

"What's wrong with a chippy tea?"

"Nothing, if you're at the seaside. Don't forget I grew up in Lannisport, what passes for fish and chips around here, I wouldn't feed to a cat!"

"Oh don't be such a grump! I'd love a scampi supper, couldn't you just have some chips and curry sauce?"

Margaery batted her eyelashes and pouted and Tyrion sighed in resignation.

"Fine, fish and chips it is, but please, just a portion of dry chips for me, curry sauce is an aberration."

"Wonderful! I'll go to the chippy, anyone coming with me?"

"I will, _Aunt_ Margaery"

Chirped Myrcella, giving her uncle a look that made him think of a less malevolent Cersei. Before he could overcome his embarrassment and tell his niece not to be so presumptuous, the pair were at the door, Margaery turned to Tyrion with a grin and nodded towards Myrcella.

"I like this one, she's sharp. See you soon, boys."

Tyrion found a wide smile appearing on his own face as he turned to his nephew.

"Right, Tommen, lets have a look at this dragon homework then."

Sansa sat opposite Jaime at her tiny dinner table. He seemed to be enjoying the food and almost as soon as he had arrived she felt her nerves melt away. She watched him as he carelessly ran a hand through his golden hair and her fingers itched to do the same. Sansa became slightly distracted by this thought and clearly missed what he said.

"Sorry Jaime, what was that?"

"Ah, I see your falling under my spell! I was asking what your mother was phoning you about?"

"Oh! It was my younger sister. She's graduating in the summer and has just announced she's been accepted for a post grad at the Bravosi Institute of Tecnhology."

"Gods, she must be brainy, that's the one of the best engineering unis in the world."

"I know, it's a great chance for Arya. Mum says its too far away. I guess its hard for her to see us all moving on, especially since dad died."

"You know I really admire you for coming back here to support her, you're a very caring woman, Sansa Stark."

She blushed at his compliment.

"I knew Arya would want to get away, she's always wanted to travel… and well, you met Bran, it's hard for mum with that on top of Rickon being so young and managing her job too."

"Oh-ho older sibling guilt, I know that one too well."

Jaime took a sip of wine and sighed.

"I told you my mum died when I was young. She had cancer, the thing was mum and dad tried for a long time to have me and then again with Tyrion. She was about three months pregnant with him when she found the lump. There was no way she was having an abortion so she had to delay her treatment which meant it spread. Tyrion was a complete teenage tearaway and him and dad used to have these screaming rows. Dad would be shouting: _your mother did not give up her life for you so you could throw yours away!_ It was a hell of a lot of pressure to put on a kid. I should've stayed around more, I suppose."

Sansa stroked his hand.

"Do Tyrion and your dad get on better now?"

Jaime smirked.

"Well, Tyrion does less to piss him off. But actually I think they have been more cordial recently. Dad adores Margaery."

" _Everyone_ adores Margaery."

Sansa smiled and rolled her eyes but then a mischievous look, which Jaime loved, appeared on her face.

"She's very serious about your brother though and shall I tell you how I know?"

"Please do."

She had leaned towards him conspiratorially and he wanted to kiss her very badly. If the way Sansa was biting her lower lip was anything to go by, she knew he wanted to too.

"Well, normally when Marge gets with a new guy I hear every detail of what goes on with the pair of them-"

"Wait wait. If you're about to divulge details of my brother's sex life, I'd rather you didn't"

"As if I would! No that's the point! She told me she'd met someone, it was all going wonderfully but she never ever went into details. All she would say was that it was really, really good."

"And that's a sign its serious? I clearly have a lot to learn about the dating game."

"Lucky for you I'm a good teacher."

He loved these occasional flashed of sassy Sansa, this time he did lean over the table and kiss her. Not being in a public place had lowered both their inhibitions and thankfully the table was really small. He ran his hands over her long, white neck, through her fiery hair and revelled in the feel of her teeth on his lips. After minute they broke away and he was pleased to see that she was slightly out of breath.

"I'll go and get dessert."

"Yes please, Miss, then we can continue my lesson."

Jaime watched her walk to the kitchen trying to stop thinking about whether the table could take their weight for a strenuous shagging session.

Tyrion had to admit, the chips tasted pretty good. To be honest, everything seemed pretty good as he watched Margaery messing around with Tommen and Myrcella on the sofa. His niece glanced up at the wall clock.

"Oh, its half seven, please can we watch _Dancing With Dragons,_ Uncle Tyrion?"

"You only want to watch it cos you fancy Oberyn Martell!"

"Shut up, Tommen!"

"Now, now you two. Yes Cella we can watch _Dancing With Dragons._ Tommen, once it finishes we will play any game you choose."

Myrcella grinned as she turned on the TV and flicked through the channels. _Dancing With Dragons_ was an extremely popular show where celebrities were paired with professional ballroom dancers and competed against each other. One of the most popular professional couples were Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand. They had been linked romantically as well as professionally but both were also rumoured to have hooked up with celebrities they had partnered in more than one series. Margaery nudged Tyrion's niece.

"My oldest brother is one of the choreographers on this show."

"Seriously?!"

"Yeah. He used to be a professional ballroom dancer but he injured his leg really badly. I've been to the studio loads of times, I've even met the Red Viper himself."

"I'd love to meet Oberyn Martell."

"Well I wouldn't"

\- Tommen chimed in.

"He wears fake tan and glitter. Uncle Euron says he's a ponce."

Tyrion knew he should really challenge Euron's restrictive views on masculinity but less than comfortable thoughts about what may have gone on when his girlfriend met the Red Viper, for all she was not his girlfriend then, somehow kept his mouth shut.

Dinner was eaten and the plates were piled up in the sink. Jaime sat beside Sansa on the sofa, both had cups of coffee going cold in front of them. Jaime ran his tongue gently around her mouth, one hand in the small of her back as he held her to him. She tasted faintly of the lemon dessert they had eaten. Sansa pulled away and Jaime was dismayed to see that she looked uncomfortable, the red head looked down at the floor a concerned expression on her beautiful face.

"Sansa, did I do something wrong? I'm sorry, I'm very rusty at all this…"

"No, Jaime, you've been perfect, you are perfect."

She paused and took a deep breath.

"I didn't just leave the Vale to be closer to my family. Ever since I was little, I've always wanted to make clothes, I had all these dreams about becoming a world famous designer, and no real idea of how I would get there. When I got into the Eyrie fashion school, mum was really pleased because my Aunt's husband was a professor there. Petyr was always saying how talented I was, that he'd never seen such good work. After I graduated, he encouraged me to stay on, he said he finance me to open my own shop in Whiteharbour, I thought all my dreams were coming true, it was so stupid of me. Anyway, I lived with them for a year and it all seemed to be going to plan, he would take me to parties were I met loads of influential people from the fashion world, I thought he was helping me to learn how to become a player."

She laughed in a bitter way Jaime had never heard before and he put a hand on her shoulder, he wanted to pull her to him and hug her but he could tell that she needed to finish what she had to say. Sansa carried on:

"So one day he took me to this empty unit right on the sea front. He said it was mine, as long as I finally made him happy. I didn't know what he meant, he got really angry, told me I'd spent years leading him on, that I was as bad as my mother, he tried to force himself on me. I had to run out with my shirt unbuttoned and bruises all over my face. No one believed me. My aunt said I was trying to seduce her husband and she kicked me out. I had a boyfriend their too, well fiancee actually. He didn't believe me either. In some ways that hurt more, looking back now I can see that Harry didn't really love me, he just liked having a pretty girl on his arm. Anyway, I spent I few months staying with a friend out there licking my wounds and when dad died I came back here."

Now he did pull her to him, wondering how it was possible to feel a burning desire to inflict a painful death on a man he had never met.

"Gods Sansa, I'm so sorry, that's fucking awful, what a cunt of a man."

He felt her laugh shakily.

"Yes he is. For a long time I thought it was my fault, but he's the one in the wrong, I know that now. And I don't want to let him ruin anymore of my life. So…I'm telling you all this not because I want your pity, I'm telling you this because I want you to stay, here. Tonight."

He gently lifted her chin and tilted her face to his.

"Sansa are you sure? I can wait as long as it takes."

"I know you can. That's why I'm ready."

And smiling at him, Sansa rose from the sofa and took his hand to lead him to the bedroom.

Tyrion closed the bedroom door on his niece and nephew. Tommen was now fast asleep in the top bunk, while Myrcella had promised she would only read another chapter of her Jacquline Wilson book before turning out the side light. He walked towards Margery's welcoming arms and brought his lips to hers.

"Why don't we head to bed ourselves, lover?"

"I'm not sleepy, Tyrion."

"I didn't mean for sleep."

Her hazel eyes sparkled with mischief.

"It feels a little bit wrong with Tom and Cella asleep next door."

"So I'm doomed to a life of celibacy once we have children?"

The question was out of Tyrion's mouth before he realised and he could have kicked himself. Normally his deep seated fear of rejection stopped him from sharing any of his dreams about a future with Margaery. It was just that the whole night had been so relaxed and happy that his defences were completely lowered and now he had likely ruined everything. He heard her speak.

"Tyrion. Look at me."

Only when he complied did she speak again.

"Before you try to pass off what you just said as some kind of joke, I want to tell you, I've spent a good part of this evening pretending Tom and Cella were our children. I've never been especially broody but I know I want children with you. I want us to have a family together."

The pair gazed at each other in silence, beaming smiles on their faces. At that moment Tyrion made up his mind to start planning the most romantic proposal ever seen. Margaery's expression became suggestive.

"Besides, by the time our children are the same age as those two, we'll have had years to work out a stealth strategy."

"I've already had years, my love, I spent much of my adolescence sneaking past my father when I was grounded for some minor offence."

"You make him sound like a monster! I've always found Tywin charming."

"Well, he loves you."

"You see, you have more in common with him than you think."

Their conversation had taken place on the way to Tyrion's bedroom. As he closed the door behind him, he contemplated sending some flowers to his bitch of an ex good sister. After all, it was her imperious request for childcare which had prompted he and Marge's confessions. Although, explaining his gratitude would likely lead to an explanation of how Jaime had spent his night and Tyrion could well imagine how _that_ would go down. He looked up and realised that his girlfriend had dispensed with her clothes and was waiting for him in bed. Unsurprising this put schemes regarding Cersei out of his mind for the rest of the night.

The next morning Sansa was woken up by the sight of Jaime Lannister, carrying a breakfast tray into her room, stark bollock naked.

"Jaime! You could have put some clothes on!"

"Don't pretend to be unhappy about it, I have now confirmed that you are very into my naked body."

He placed the tray before her and she noticed as well as tea and toast, he had made her a crown from the blue roses her brought the evening before. She beamed at him.

"Am I your Queen of Love and Beauty?"

"Can you doubt it? One advantage of going out with a dad to a daughter: I'm very well practiced at hair plaiting, daisy chains and flower crowns."

Jaime's face took on a hesitant expression.

"I was wondering if you felt like heading back to my flat with me in a little while and maybe meeting Myrcella and Tommen? No worries if not, but I'd like you to meet them as soon as your ready. I mean, I know you've met them before but not with me so anyway, do you want to?"

Sansa grinned at this rare display of uncertainty; her heart warming at the implications of taking this step.

"Yes I would love to, I think I'll leave my crown here though."

When they arrived at the flat, the others were all in the kitchen, Tyrion was instructing Tommen in how to make eggy bread and Marge and Myrcella were seated at the dining table, taking selfies on the young blonde's tablet, using the 'Rose of Highgarden' filter. Something about the scene called to Jaime's mind his own marriage, before it all went to hell and happiness for his little brother further buoyed his already ebullient mood. He gripped Sansa's hand briefly.

"Kids, I want you to meet a new friend of mine. Her name's Sansa, she knows Margaery."

"Hello Sansa, I'm Tommen. Would you like some eggy bread?"

"Yes please Tommen it looks delicious."

Myrcella grinned cheekily.

"Is Addam alright then, daddy?"

"He's fine, I picked up Sansa on the way back from his."

His daughter looked sceptical but then Sansa sat down beside her .

"I've heard so much about you and Tommen that I couldn't wait any longer to meet you. Is it true you were bitten by a snake in Dorne. You must be very brave."

Jaime watched Myrcella launch into the tale of her childhood encounter with a sand snake on a family holiday. Soon Tommen approached the table, a plate piled high with golden brown slices, beaming with pride at the compliments from the three females. Tyrion handed Jaime some orange juice with a grin.

"Good night was it?"

"Sure was, I hope Tom and Cella weren't too much trouble?"

"Not at all, quite the opposite in fact."

Jaime raised his brows questioningly but Tyrion had busied himself pouring more juice. Jaime smiled to himself. He knew that introducing Sansa to his children meant bringing Cersei into the equation soon. Not to mention meeting her family before too long which was just as daunting in different ways. But for now he could eat eggy bread, drink orange juice and try very hard not to spend all his time day dreaming about the previous night.


	3. Stag Do (part 1)

Catelyn Stark entered the staff room, making straight for the coffee machine. Generally she avoided caffeinated beverages but today she needed something to get her through. She had just finished a frustrating fifty minutes trying to make her year eights appreciate the poetry of a Midsummer Night's Dream, however this was not the cause of tight band of tension forming on her forehead.

Earlier that morning, she had dropped her two youngest at the school gates and turned to see Cersei Lannister heading towards her. The blonde woman's long, thick hair was scrapped back into a pony tale and she was swathed in a grey hoodie emblazoned with the words 'Selfish Mother'. However her make up was prefect and even in her gym clothes she still seemed more glamorous than any of the other parents at drop off. She gave Cat a sickly smile.

"Cat, how are you?"

"Fine, Cersei, getting there, you know. How are things with you?"

"Not too bad. I'll come to the point, I'm a bit annoyed you didn't mention your daughter was seeing my ex. I appreciate it's awkward for you but a friendly head's up would have been nice, it was a shock to have to hear it from Tom and Cella."

"My daughter?"

"Yes, Sansa and Jaime are an item, he's introduced her to the children. Are you telling me you didn't know?"

"She hasn't mentioned it…"

"In that case I think you need to talk to her. I'm saying this as your friend Cat. Jaime was the love of my life, he's the father of the my children and I still care for him deeply, but you know what he was like as a husband, I think your daughter needs to be careful."

Cersei squeezed the redhead's shoulder and strutted away, leaving Catelyn in turmoil.

Hours later the turmoil had not lifted.

 _emJaime Lannister, how could she?! He's ten years older than her with a failed marriage and two children to boot!/em_

Cat massaged her temple, she remembered the school autumn fete last year, Cersei blinking back tears as she recounted discovering her husband in an embrace with their children's babysitter. Cat knew Sansa had taken the breakup of her relationship with Harry very badly but this was not an effective coping strategy. The coffee made, the redhead absently lifted it to her mouth, only to swear loudly when the hot liquid burnt her tongue.

"Mrs Stark, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Brienne and please, just call me Catelyn."

Cat smiled at the younger woman, Brienne was a PE teacher at the school where Catelyn was deputy head. She thought the girl may have spent some time in the military as she seemed very aware of rank. Brienne slumped down on a chair and glared furiously at a notebook in front of her. Cat moved towards her.

"You look agitated, Brienne, anything I can help with?"

"It's not a work matter. It's my best friend from school. I'm organising his stag do this weekend."

"That should be fun."

"I hope so. It's just that Loras, the guy he's marrying, he has this really close knit family and I know they'll be doing something awesome for him, I don't want Renly's weekend to be rubbish in comparison."

"He's marrying Loras Tyrell? Loras is good friends with my eldest daughter, Sansa's going on his stag do this weekend."

 _emWith that little madam Margaery. I bet she's the one who introduced Sansa to Jaime Lannister. /em_ Cat had never approved of Sansa's best friend, feeling the Tyrell girl was apt to lead her naive daughter astray, not to mention the way Margaery had broken Robb's heart.

Brienne frowned.

"Renly's brother Stannis isn't even coming. So it's just me, his older brother Robert and another friend from back home, Tyrion Lannister."

The unusual name stirred Cat's memory.

"Is that Jaime Lannister's brother?"

"That's right, you know Jai?"

"Our children go to school together."

"I used to play rugby with him."

Brienne smiled, fond nostalgia filling her thoughts. Joining the Lannisport under 18's rugby team had been a special time in her life. It represented the moment she had embraced herself as she was and stopped trying to squeeze into a girly box which would never be a comfortable fit. She and Jaime had quickly become friends, Brienne appreciative of the fact that he treated her exactly like the other players, and always included her in their banter.

Cat knew nothing of Brienne's thoughts. All she saw was the woman mention Jaime Lannister and become somewhat dreamy. Catelyn realised she had an opportunity to save her daughter and decided to take it.

"Why not ask Jaime to come along too?"

"I don't know, he and Renly weren't close. I mean they know each other a bit through Tyrion I suppose. I was good friends with Jai but when he started seeing his wife we drifted apart."

"He's divorced now, you know. It's always nice to catch up with old friends, I'm sure he'd be delighted to hear from you."

Brienne was nonplussed, but she had always put great store in any advice Catelyn Stark gave her and besides it would be nice to catch up with Jaime, they were friends on Black and White Book of course but that wasn't the same as meeting in person. She smiled at her colleague and began to type out a message.

Sansa walked off the shop floor and made her way to her locker. She hated working the late night closing shift, the shop was always dead and time dragged. She pulled out her phone and noted with a frown a missed call from her mum. The pair had spoken yesterday and Sansa had mentioned her shift tonight. There was no accompanying message so Sansa was not worried anything awful had happened but she wondered what had prompted the call. Her face brightened as she noted Jaime had sent a text several minutes ago.

Text from Sexy Jaime to Sansa Stark: em _I'm outside with Pentoshi food. See you soon xxxx/em_

Sansa grinned, having a gorgeous boyfriend bring delicious takeaway back to her flat certainly made the evening shift easier to bear. She grabbed her handbag and put on her coat, then made her way out of the shopping centre.

Once in the car park, she quickly spotted Jaime's car and jumped in, kissing him warmly in greeting.

"Hello, gorgeous. How's your day been?"

"Boring as hell, but its improving now. How about you, how did Tommen's assembly go?"

"Yeah great, he didn't get any of the dragons' names mixed up and he was word perfect. Naturally I've got about five hundred photos of his two minute speech to show you."

"I should hope so, was Cersei alright?"

"Strangely yes, she even smiled at me and said she was asking after you. I think she's finally got over her indignation."

Sansa smiled back at Jaime, from what Marge had told her about his ex-wife she doubted the other woman cared about her welfare unless it was to hear she had died a slow painful death. But there was no need to heap more drama onto Jaime. Cersei had been pissed off to find out her ex was seeing someone new and despite having introduced the children to her own new partner, she took issue with Jaime doing the same with Sansa. As Jaime drove the car towards her flat, Sansa glanced out the window at the familiar streets, before turning to him with smile.

"I got some of that beer you like."

"You are far to good to me, Sansa."

"I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me."

She smiled at him and dropped her eyes quickly. Jaime glanced and her and grinned.

"It's going to be a bloody long weekend with you off in the Reach."

"You won't even notice I'm gone."

Sansa had been looking forward to her trip away for ages. Margaery having been appointed her brother's best woman had arranged for them to spend a weekend in a large luxurious log cabin, complete with hot tub, set in the luscious countryside near Highgarden. All week Sansa had been receiving excited, cryptic messages from the brunette, anticipating what a fabulous time they were all going to have. Jaime pulled the car into her street and found himself a parking space. They got out and collected the bag of food from the back and he raised his eyebrows at her.

"I will be a miserable sod all weekend I can assure you. Anyway, come on, rapunzle, let us climb to your tower."

Once they were inside Sansa's flat, Jaime faced her with a boyish expression and declared in a sing-song voice:

"I know something you don't know."

"And what would that be?"

"Come on, Sans! You have enough siblings to know I'm not just going to tell you… do you think you can guess?"

Sansa paused in the action of emptying take away containers onto plates to think.

"Um…you and Tyrion have finally got yourselves a tea pot?"

"No, and we never will. What's the point? It's just something else to wash."

"It makes the tea taste better, and you use less tea bags."

"Well, we're both fantastically wealthy so we can buy all the tea bags we like. It is about Tyrion though."

They moved to her small dining table, and Jaime looked at her in expectant glee. Sansa rolled her eyes.

"Just tell me, I can see you're dying to."

"Tyrion's going to ask Marge to marry him."

Sansa grabbed his hands in delight.

"Seriously?!"

"Uh-huh, he spoke to me about it last night, he wants me to ask your advice about rings."

Sansa squealed.

"I'm so happy for them! Mother, Maiden and Crone though, how am I going to keep it secret this weekend?"

"You'll be fine, I know what Marge is like when she gets on the wine, she'll be too busy singing and gushing over Tyrion to notice your dissembling."

The couple beamed at each other and began to eat. After a while Jaime looked at his girlfriend and spoke in a casual tone.

"Of course, I suppose once they get engaged, they'll want to cohabit too, I don't really fancy doing the 'Three's Company' thing…I'll have a roommate vacancy if you were interested."

Sansa laughed.

"You know I love having you over here, honey, but I don't think there's room for all your hair products in my bathroom."

Jaime frowned.

"I wasn't thinking I'd move in _here._ There's nowhere for Tom and Cella. Obviously we'd look for somewhere together. My brother's fairly lax about my rent, I've got enough saved up for a decent deposit, I wouldn't have a problem getting a mortgage I shouldn't think."

Sansa felt her mouth go dry, she met Jaime's eyes.

"You're joking right?"

There was a beat of silence before Jaime forced out a laugh.

"Of course I am! Gods Sans, you should've seen your face."

Sansa smiled weakly and turned her eyes to her food. The meal continued in a strained silence. Once they were finished Sansa offered Jaime a beer and quickly decided she could do with one herself. She handed him a bottle just as the cheery melody of her ring tone sounded. Jaime watched as Sansa jumped to the kitchenette to retrieve her phone.

"Hi, mum, everything alright?…Yeah I was at work…Yeah fine just tired now, how's you?…No nothing's new here, just looking forward to Loras' stag do…no it's not putting me in the mood to settle down, remember how well that went for me last time?…No I'm not having a go, like I said I'm just tired…Of course I'll be over for dinner on Tuesday…Ok love you."

Sansa hung up with a frown.

"Mum seems convinced I've got something to tell her."

"Don't you?"

Jaime tried to keep the edge of his voice but he was sure that some resentment crept in. He'd been seeing Sansa for months now and yet she still seemed no nearer to telling her family about the two of them. An unpleasant thought hit him.

"Shit."

"Jaime, what is it?"

"Cersei said something about seeing your mum today, do you think she might have mentioned us?"

"She better bloody not have!"

Jaime felt stung by his girlfriend's consternation.

"I know, who could think of anything worse than your mother hearing about us?"

"You know that's not what I mean!"

"Still haven't told her though."

"And I will in my own time. I don't believe you! Cersei goes out of her way to shit stir and you're making it about me!"

"Maybe she wasn't shit stirring. Maybe she just assumed that with us being adults, you would have done the adult thing and told your mum. That's usually what people do when they're in a serious relationship, Sansa."

"Is it? How lucky for me I have you to instruct me on these things. Maybe you can map my life out for me while your at it!"

"Sorry for wanting to make plans with the woman I care about!"

"It was for not with, Jaime."

Sansa could feel her insides shaking as she met his angered gaze, but she kept her head up. After a moment, Jaime gave a humourless smirk.

"I think it would be best if I left. Wouldn't want you to get caught out."

"Fine, go, I've got to be up early tomorrow anyway."

"Bye then."

"Bye"

It was the first time he'd ever left her without a kiss. Sansa stood stock still as the door shut behind him and made sure she counted slowly to ten before she let the tears fall.

Margaery reached a hand to the bedside table, eventually locating her phone and cancelling the alarm.

"Is it time to get up, love?"

Tyrion murmured sleepily. She glanced affectionately towards his tousled head, still mostly obscured by the duvet.

"Yeah, but only for me. I have to pick up Sansa and Loras."

"Ok, how about five more minutes first?"

Margaery grinned and snuggled back down into his open arms. After a moment she raised her lips to his and initiated a long, slow kiss.

"It's going to be rubbish waking up without you tomorrow."

"I know, I feel quite sorry for you to be honest."

"Tyrion! You're supposed to say it'll be shit for you too!"

"Just keeping you on your toes, sweetheart. But in all seriousness, I agree, waking up without you is hideous."

She beamed at him and pulled him into another kiss. Several weeks ago the couple had celebrated their first anniversary and Tyrion had surprised her with a weekend at the Water Gardens. The former private residence of the Dornish royal family was now a luxury romantic hotel and spa and the whole trip had been perfect. Or, nearly perfect. If she was being honest with herself Margaery had at more than one point wondered if her lover might take the opportunity to pop the question and might have been just a little bit disappointed when he didn't.

Now she pulled away from him with a regretful smile and jumped from the bed, padding to the drawer where she kept some clothes for the increasingly frequent nights when she stayed over. She put an extra wiggle into her movement, aware she was being observed from the bed.

"Gods, woman, must you seduce me with every action?"

"This is just my natural self, Tyrion."

"Then I must have been a very good boy in one of my past lives."

"I doubt that, you were probably always a little demon."

She pulled on jeans and a tight t-shirt. Tyrion ran a hand through his already unruly hair and exited the bed, pulling on a considerably looser t-shirt.

"Do you have time to eat before you leave?"

"No need, Loras is shouting me brekkie as a thank you for being designated driver. I wouldn't say no to a brew though."

Tyrion nodded and left for the kitchen while his girlfriend quickly did her hair and make up. When she was finished she headed for the living room and found her boyfriend seated on the sofa looking perplexed.

"All Jaime's stuff is here, he must've come in after we went to bed last night."

"Oh. Maybe Sansa was worried she'd sleep in if he stayed, she's never really been a morning person."

"Yeah maybe."

They sipped their teas in silence for a few minutes. Margaery looked at Tyrion with a mock pout.

"I wish you were coming with us."

"I cannot desert King's Landing in her hour of need. We are facing an onslaught of Baratheons. Apparently good brother Stannis has had a last minute change of heart, also I couldn't do that to Renly."

"A night out with all three Baratheon brothers? Seven hells, try not to end up locked in box on the ferry to Pentos."

Margaery smirked then glanced at the clock.

"I better go, I said I be at Sansa's for nine."

Tyrion moved towards her and pulled her to him.

"Love you, darling, have wonderful weekend."

"Love you too."

They shared a long kiss before walking hand in hand to the door.

Marge leant down and placed her forehead on his.

"I'm assuming I can rely on you to send me a filthy, drunken voicemail at stupid o'clock? "

"Consider me your god of tits and wine, darling."

Tyrion was treated to a final snog before Margaery departed. He stood at the closed door staring at the spot where his girlfriend had stood.

"Marry me, Marge."

He felt as if the words were on the tip of tongue so often these days. When she had complained about waking up alone earlier he had wanted to suggest that she move herself in with immediate effect. Tyrion shook his head. Margery was a queen, she deserved the most perfect, romantic proposal, not just a casual suggestion. His thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of Jaime, who did not seem to have slept very well.

"You look rough, I thought you were spending the night at Sansa's"

"Change of plans, bro'."

"You two had a falling out? Nothing serious I hope."

Jaime smirked bitterly.

"How could it possibly be anything em _serious?/em_ Listen, about Renly's Stag Do, I think I'll tag along after all."

"You've changed your tune."

The night before Jaime had shown his brother and Marge the message he had received from Brienne as a last minute invite. Jaime had been bemused and certainly not keen on the idea. Tyrion didn't blame him. As a teenager, Tyrion's best mate had been Bronn. Renly's best mate was Brienne. But neither Brienne nor Bronn had attended the exclusive all boys Shield of Lannisport Grammar School. Tyrion and Renly, both for their own reasons not quite fitting in, had gravitated together and maintained the friendship when they both left for university. If Renly hadn't been one of his closest friends, Tyrion would have found an excuse to give the Stag Do the body swerve too. From what Renly had told him, both his elder brothers appeared to be in the throes of mid life crises. While Robert seemed to be taking the typical route of boozing and casual flings, Stannis had opted for some new age religion. As for Brienne Tarth, aside from a topic to bait Cersei with Tyrion had never associated the uptight woman with anything approaching a good time. He rolled his eyes thinking about the itinerary she had emailed over for the day; _eta, eleven hundred hours, like a bloody military operation. Aha!_

Tyrion beamed at his older brother.

"However, it does work out rather perfectly. You can take my space on the paintball trip."

"Paintball?"

"Yeah, right up your street, physical competition, aggression, all that manly stuff I'm just not up to."

Jaime eyed Tyrion sceptically. However, after his row with Sansa he could not deny that some pseudo violence did seem appealing. If only to stop him thinking about how miserable he'd felt when he woke up that morning alone.

"Alright, baby brother, consider me your champion."

"Wonderful, tell Brienne that Bronn and I will meet you all at the curry house after. I have her detailed schedule so I know what to do."

Tyrion took in Jaime's distracted nod. He could tell something was amiss with his older brother and was fairly sure it was related to Sansa. He wondered briefly if he should try and talk to Jaime about it but dismissed the idea. Let him spend the afternoon shooting paint at other grown men then get him pissed that evening; that was the answer to the problem.

Sansa took one last glance in the mirror as she prepared to leave her flat. As soon as Jaime stormed out the night before she'd had a proper, ugly cry. Once the tears had subsided the redhead had picked up her phone, intending to ring Jaime but instead sitting motionless with the phone in her hand. _I'm not sad, I'm fucking angry._ It had been something of a revelation to her. When Sansa had been with Harry and indeed in any of her previous relationships, she had always been the one to instigate making up after fights. It never mattered to her whether she had been in the wrong or not, she just really hated bad blood. The old habit had nearly kicked in, but it didn't. She'd been annoyed at Jaime at dinner and she still was. Their relationship was going well and despite trying very hard to keep her feet on the ground and not get carried away this time, Sansa had found herself on more than one occasion day dreaming about how gorgeous their wedding pictures would look, with his beautiful children as page boy and flower girl. However, that did not mean she was ready to take a massive step like moving in together right now and even if she was, it was something for them to discuss together, not for Jaime to bulldoze her into. Sansa was acutely aware that she had let Harry dictate the pace of their relationship, moving forward despite her own doubts and she did not want to let that happen again.

Arguing with Jaime felt shit though and Sansa was tempted to call Marge and feign some kind of stomach bug. But then the redhead thought about Harry and Petyr and how much of her life she'd already wasted feeling shit about men and made up her mind. She wasn't some porcelain doll; she was steel. She would go on her friend's stag do and have a brilliant time and not think about Jaime fucking Lannister.

Sansa jumped into the back seat of Marge's car with a beaming smile. Her friend turned her head with a grin.

"So you kicked Jaime out last night?"

Sansa knew from Marge's tone that her friend hadn't heard about the row.

"Yeah, I needed an early night."

"Never easy with a Lannister in your bed, I can relate."

Sansa forced herself to join in her friend's laugh. Soon the car pulled up in front of Loras and Renly's flat and Sansa watched the pair say a protracted goodbye. Loras jumped into the front seat looking glum.

"Pull yourself together, bro'! Its one night."

"I know I just miss him so much when we're apart."

"Gods, you're a drama queen! You don't see me and Sansa moping about being separated from our beaus. Anyway, we are going to have so much fun you won't even think about Renly. Starting this afternoon with wine tasting."

Loras brightened immediately.

"That's what we're doing? Ren will be so jealous, they're going paintballing!"

Sansa leant forward.

"He might bump into my brother. Robb, Jon and some of the guys from the Wall are down staying with Theon for his birthday this weekend. I'm pretty sure they're going paintballing today."

 _Thank the gods Jaime isn't on Renly's stag do. I don't fancy the idea of him and Robb meeting on a battlefield even if it is a pretend one._


End file.
